Friday, December 17, 2010

The woes and blues of singlehood


Single hood might sound as a fun place to be in, especially if you are married or committed and all your single friends flaunt their frequently changing fares right under your disapproving nose. No matter how steadfast or stable one’s relationship is, at some point of time we all have caught ourselves asking the question “What if...?" 

Being single beats being entangled in a bad relationship any day but just like marriage and a committed relationship, single-hood comes with its own share of issues and problems. Here are top 5 blues I can come up with from top of my head, I am sure there are a lot more.

The dating game: Dating after being in a relationship is like going to work after a gap of a few years. At work you will find the complete modus operandi and technology has changed, well it is the same with dating too. The game and the rules keep changing and if you have not kept yourself updated, you might feel like you have come out of a cave and the world around you has changed beyond recognition. The charms of dating wear off after a few bad dates and celibacy doesn't seem to be a bad option when your weekend gets ruined for the sixth time in a row.

The holiday seasons: This is one of the worst pains of single-hood. You can run, you can hide but you can’t escape your family and relatives during holidays. And no matter what the hot topic of the season is, inevitably the topic in the dining table veers towards the observation that a few years down the line you will be the only single unwed lady of your age in the family and probably the neighborhood as well. And it doesn't matter that you are the youngest director of a company or you have a successful thriving business. Relatives are experts in ignoring these moot points and know the art of dredging on the dreaded matter of marriage and children. All we can do is grin and bear it and hope that the next holiday season we catch something and stay in bed.

The illness-factor: Being single and staying alone really pricks when we fall sick. We are lucky if we have a friend or family who will dump everything and come running for us but then we feel guilty for needing them. And if we are forced to make our own soups and blow our own noses, that is when the need of a supporting hand becomes most urgent. There is also the fact that when we are ill we are more emotionally vulnerable and feel the need of some touch therapy.

My best friend’s wedding: 


Single-hood is best when you have single friends with whom you can bitch about the married ones and pity their cumbersome lives. But when the same friends decide to desert you for the dreaded institution of  marriage you feel like you have been stabbed in the back. You might make promises to each other that you will remain the same forever, but the fact remains that things will change. And that is when you feel the need of making new single friends till the pattern gets repeated again.

The romance factor: This is probably one of the most deeply felt factor in single-hood even though we bury it deep within our hearts. There are a lot of times when we feel the need of that one special person to share all our secrets with, just hold us when we are feeling low. The joys of walking aimlessly hand-in-hand, talking nonsensical talks are even deeply missed if already experienced before. Not to mention the fact that today’s modern society still remains old-fashioned in terms of promoting marriage and romance. Endorsements, offer and packages always seem to be made keeping couples in mind and rarely for the happily unmarried single.  


PS: No offence intended for single women/men. All views are personal and is not meant to insult or hurt any individual. I will shortly be publishing another article on the joys of being single, so till then, please hold the hammer! Having said that, all feedback is welcome and appreciated J