Sunday, January 2, 2011

Dating Disasters – Things not to do on a first date

The dating process brings in mixed feelings among many of us. For some, it means a feeling of anticipation and butterflies in the stomach sensation, while for others it might be just another waste of a free evening. Whichever category we belong too, we have a personal list of behaviors which we feel are unacceptable on a first date.
The other day I was sitting with my friends and this topic came up in the course of our conversation and all the ladies present brought out their disaster date scenarios out on the table and that is when I decided to take the top five in their list and write an article out of it.
Honey, the check is all yours: Women are two-faced this way, they want their independence and equality, but when it comes to chivalry you cannot do enough. Well, I don’t know who made the rules but an woman would like the man to pay the check on the first date. And if the man is new-age who respects women power and feels that he has done a great job of making her feel like an equal by asking her to pay the bill, well unfortunately that is not how it works. This seems to be a cardinal rule of dating with only a few exceptions.
The whistling and “hey you’s”:

Whistling out for a waiter might seem dashing to some, but only in the movies. This seems to be a common opinion, women finds out a lot about a man’s personality by the way he behaves with the wait staff. If a guy has the habit of whistling or shouting out to a waiter to get his attention, this might come out as rude or arrogant. A definite “No” on a first date, i.e. if the guy wants a second date after all.
What is that smell?: This is definitely not limited to the first date alone but then with a problem like this one’s chances of a second date are slim. My friend had to invent someone’s sudden death to actually escape a bad case of mouth-odor. She tried to lean back and avoid it as much as possible but it got to a point where it was either a quick escape or the table napkin over her nose. So if the guy wants to actually make it to the second date sometime in the future, better invest in some breath mints and mouthwash.
All about me: 

When you go on a first date, usually it is a chance to get to know about each other and when the guy (or vice versa) spends the entire time speaking only about himself, he can see those invisible yawns on his date’s face. Being full of himself, not giving his date the chance to even complete a sentence will only bring him down on the scale of manners and will not help to get him anywhere with the lady in question.
One kiss please: This is again a very sensitive area and opinions seemed to differ among my friends too. Some do not like the fact that you kiss on the first date, some thought it rude not to give a good night kiss and others felt a chaste kiss on the cheek is enough. Well, one friend gave a very strong view about necking and groping being completely out of the question and everyone seemed to agree to that. Well, I would say it depends on the chemistry between the two and you should try to read the body language too. But if he is coming on too strong or being forceful then he can kiss the second date goodbye.
These were among the top 5 in the list of unacceptable behaviors but I remember there being quite a few more. Being late on a date, not being dressed properly, talking about the ex on the first date, asking questions about sex-life were some of the other close contenders. 

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